Every time I sit down to write something, I seem to get lost in the words. It’s been hard finding my voice over the past couple years, with so much going on all the time. It seems everyone has something to say, and yet, most of it is just jibberish. I have been turned off by social media, turned off by technology in general which is ironic because I think at the same time I’ve relied on it more than ever.
Ordering online has become a norm when going shopping is less enjoyable. Reading blog posts and status updates is where you find socialization because rarely do you get to see people face-to-face. It’s all pretty despicable, don’t you think? I try to keep my head up and my spirits high. I want to love humanity because I know deep down we are so much better than this. And I see everyone struggling and I just want to scream because all we really need is a fucking group hug.
In any case, it’s been hard for me to find words to console you because that isn’t my job. Only you can do that work, and that work is not easy. We need to parent ourselves and find the truth within ourselves because no matter how much we want to research or look for answers, they are unreliable at best, and downright criminal at worst.
So, here we are. Stripped of our dignity and humanity; looking for answers that no one but our selves, our true divine nature, can answer. But what does that even mean? I don’t know for sure, but I have a guess.
I think it means slowing down the hussle and bussle. I think it means getting raw and real with our feelings and emotions and laying it all on the table. I think it means not hiding from ourselves, from our friends and family anymore and being as authentic as we possibly can. Maybe it means living every day like it could be our last day, and doing what makes us feel good inside.
For me, many days are spent reading a book, or just sitting and being. Other days are spent walking in the woods, or petting my cat or playing with our dog. Some days I am frustrated with life, and other days I get to see friends and feel a little bit of hope that we are meant to be together, loving, laughing, and living. Because this is not living. This is struggling to get by. This is survival, and it’s not working.
Sooner than later this bubble will have to pop. There is no way we can go on like this because it simply is not our nature; we are not meant to be separated, sterilized, shamed, and living alone. It’s just not healthy, and I don’t need a doctor to tell me that because I know that I know that I know, and that should be enough.
Honoring our innate wisdom and guidance telling us that we need each other and we need community, should be enough.
Listening to the voice in my head that says a smile, a hug, and a loving embrace, is more powerful at healing than is distancing, masking, and sanitizing our lives into oblivion, should be enough.
Feeling my gut twist and turn every time I enter a store without seeing another human being’s face, a stranger’s smile, knowing something is just not right here, should be enough.
When will we finally, confidently follow our own wisdom? When will we step up and say no more?
I can’t be sure. But in my heart I know we will get there. Because every time I meet up with friends who want a hug, or share in a conversation where we both agree this is insane, or hear of a story where people peacefully defend their right to be human, I have hope.
No matter what happens today or tomorrow or next week or next month,
I’ll take each day as it passes; breathe in the air, drink the drink, and resign myself to the influence of the Earth.
I invite you to do the same; and if you see me, let’s hug.